Vote for the Dark Ages!

We at Eusafishes have a new favourite political party. Ridiculous and terrifying in equal measure the Scottish Christian Party hope to bring their own brand of prejudice to the wider political sphere, all in the name of getting you to put “the cross by the cross”.

Here’s their election video. You may have picked up on what can only be described as “blatant hatred of gay people”. This is their friendly, cuddly side.

Here’s a selection of their policies we disagree with:

  • Capital punishment
  • Corporal Punishment (Capital Punishment light for schools)
  • Legislate to discriminate against homosexuality
  • Refusing NHS treatment for “self inflicted” ailments such as HIV AIDS, ALCOHOLISM AND DRUG ABUSE
  • Ban abortion
  • Creationism to be taught in science classes
  • Curfews for under 11’s (9pm)
  • Remove schools obligation to educate students on other/evil faiths
  • Discriminate against women and Catholics (a different kind of Christian) by supporting the Act of Settlement
  • A “public health campaign” against homosexuality
  • Mind Pollution levy on DVD’s, Games, CD’s etc.
  • Discouragement of the practice of addressing women as Ms.
  • Graduate tax

For the sake of balance this is what we agree on:

  • Regulate coast lines to preserve Sand Eel stocks (we always stand in solidarity with our piscine cadres)

In balance somewhat of a divide. Beyond their vile and regressive policies, the SCP are also distinguished by a long running hate campaign against the Scottish Green Party, especially their Parliamentary leader Patrick Harvie, and what they deem the “Wider Homosexual Agenda”. The party claims that more Christian votes would have “Kept the Pink out of parliament”. In an attempt to add legitimacy to this reductionist babble they also claimed that Green Party supporters have a “semi-religious attitude towards Mother Earth.”

The SCP have a Welsh sister party, also running for Assembly elections today, with equally batshit insane views. Their manifesto features such gems as lifting controls on over-fishing due to the “supernatural element in restoration of fish to the sea” and removal of the “Satanic” dragon on the Welsh flag. As their national leader Rev George Hargreaves says, “Wales has been under demonic oppression and under many curses because of this unwise choice.”

Rev Hargreaves himself is an interesting one. He is best known for writing 80’s hit “So Macho”, a unpleasantly sexist ditty (sample line: “I want a man who will dominate me”). In a beautiful twist of fate, the song became a bit of a gay anthem, proof God may exist, ironically

However, lunacy does not mask the fundamentally detestable core of the Scottish Christian Party’s ideology. Hate and paranoia is their platform for election, and fear their method of coercion. The party’s website warns of the danger of secular parties: “When you get to heaven, do you want it to be known that you voted for such policies?”. Equating the other parties with damnation is a smear at the basest level aimed at frightening genuine Christians into falling for their aggressive party line. The party’s supposed “mainstream Christian views” do nothing to represent religion in Scottish society. They claim that secularised society is intolerant of their intolerance. This surely is a contradiction in terms, much like calling for capital punishment, while espousing the commandment “Thou shall not kill”. In 2007 the SCP polled only around 27,000 votes (1.3%), hiding behind the veil of religious freedom, all the while spewing filth that has no place in any aspect of society, religious or secular. This was 27,000 more than they deserved then, and 27,000 more than they deserve now.


About medeusa

glaring at Edinburgh student politics
This entry was posted in elections, intolerance, politics and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Vote for the Dark Ages!

  1. Crasp says:

    This is definitely the best article in the EUSA*s wordpress constellation.

  2. Maximiliaan says:

    Is it wrong that I only truly got angry when I got to the part in their manifesto about graduate tax contributions?

    Also, A+ for the article.

  3. RMB says:

    You forgot to mention: Replace the standard of ‘beyond reasonable doubt’ with the more biblical ‘evidence of two or three reliable witnesses’ in the criminal justice system.

    In other words, no chance of a conviction for rape, ever.

  4. eusafishes says:

    Excellent, excellent point RMB

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