Enough is enough.

CONTENT WARNING: discussion of rape, racism, abuse and use of swear words.

What I just said. You all know who I am. It’s Ellie fucking BW, you got me.

One of the main reasons I wanted to make the big, shocking reveal is so I can talk personally about tonight’s Sabb debates. I thought so many of the candidates did incredibly well under that pressure, and really stuck up for themselves and their policies (shout outs to Faatima). However, it was also full of a lot of vile bullshit.

I’m sure most of you who would read this blog would have been there tonight, and would have seen my question to Tom Kerr. For those of you who weren’t, I asked a question to Kerr, a candidate for VPAA, about him allowing a member of the DKE frat on his campaign team, a frat who threatened FemSoc with rape, and referred to a member of their frat who came forward about their behaviour as a ‘sneaky Mexican fuck’. Furthermore, I was shocked that he thought it was appropriate to bring this man into a room including women that the threats were made against. I was also told that he was pro-life, and asked him how he would reconcile holding these views and representing all women students on campus, and he denied this  saying he ‘doesn’t have an opinion’ on either side of the debate. That seems like a cop out answer to me.

So, I popped the question, to the applause and support of much of the audience (as I was asking questions that I know many women in the audience also wanted to ask). He answered with what I feel was a mediocre response, saying that I couldn’t paint all of the frat members with the same brush, and the answer to the pro-life question that I previously mentioned. To be honest, I think it makes a lot of sense to distrust and link all members of a frat that sent threats of rape and used racist language to this behaviour. Were they still members when these complaints were made? If so, then I have every right to link them to this awful behaviour and hold them accountable for it.

Anyway, I was very shaken and incredibly nervous about asking the question, as I knew I would be met with hostility and poopy tweets. The actual response, however, was genuinely shocking. I listened to Kerr’s answer, disliked it, then went to the bar to get a drink. As I was walking out, a member of said frat at the back of the room and members of the Diagnostics society, jeered me, shouting “shame, shame” at me. A few of the members of the audience realised, including members of Fresh Air, who tweeted about it and were shocked. I found out after the debate that these same people attacked Faatima, candidate for President and only BME candidate for this role, when she defended accusations of racism hurled at her. This behaviour breaks safe space, something that EUSA venues are meant to uphold and enforce. I felt unsafe and worried about verbal attack or worse.

Their behaviour prompted complaints from other audience members with them asking the producers of the debate to remove them as they were making people feel unsafe. They were asked to do so, yet refused, literally shouting in the face of the person who asked them to leave. Thus, they remained throughout, making me at least feel incredibly unsafe and paranoid, and meant that they were able to continue shouting “shame” at Faatima. They also squared up to a member of the audience after the debate when that person did not want to have a conversation with them.

This night was awful, but incomparable to the debate on freedom of speech held by Sp!ked last night. Last night, me and other survivors of abuse, were told to “grow up” and get used to sexist and abusive behaviour on campus, and that our desire for safe spaces and trigger warnings was paternalistic and akin to fascism.

The behaviour of the DKE frat member and the Diagnostics society at the debate tonight is a case in point. I know for a fact that I was not the only person in the audience who felt unsafe and scared. I know for a fact that mine and others’ safe space was broken. I need safe spaces so that I am protected from such vile behaviour. Protected from men like them who literally threatened to rape me and other women on the same committee as I. It is not something to joke about and belittle because you’re a bit upset you’re not allowed to come to women only spaces, or BME only spaces, or trans only spaces, or LGBT+ spaces, or disabled only spaces.

Your vague offence does not equal or even come close to my physical disgust, and shaking, and paranoia, and desire to leave and cry. Do not patronise me. Do not accuse me of paternalism when you tell me what I can and cannot be offended and triggered about.

So much solidarity to all the people affected by these vile people tonight, and so much love to all those who sent me messages of support and encouragement, people who didn’t even know me. Also hugs to all the women who were thinking what I asked. It was vital that we asked those questions and challenged those views. Progression and ending bigotry does not come from allowing the bigots to silence us, or pressure us into a corner. Our voices and opinions are valid and powerful.

Thank you for reading, if you did. From now on this blog will be more radge. I’m done playing mister nice guy.

Ellie.

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About medeusa

glaring at Edinburgh student politics
This entry was posted in blogs, elections, eusa, free speech, student politics and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

55 Responses to Enough is enough.

  1. Gracie Noakes says:

    Am truly sorry you’ve had a trying few days – really well done for asking the question EVERYONE I know wanted answered at the debate tonight, what a shame you had to suffer such disgustingness as a result. solidarity.

  2. gmail says:

    Hey Ellie, I know this probably won’t make you amend your post, but noone from the ex- DKE colony said anything to you. There was one ex-DKE person in attendance, and he was standing on the other side of the room. From what we’ve been able to gather, the people heckling you were reportedly members of the Diagnostic society. Anyways, sorry you had an awful night.

  3. adfasd says:

    It was diags heckling you, they were even in their attire, is this real life

  4. medeusa says:

    whatever, either way. that was triggering for me and there was also a member of the frat in the room.

  5. elliebw says:

    Reblogged this on ellie.b.weary and commented:
    Hey guys.

  6. k says:

    Are you fucking nuts? How can you blame an entire group of people, because ANOTHER group of people said “shame” after you got up and left the room like an indignant child? Regardless if he was ex-DKE, YOUR POST WAS ABOUT THE SHAME COMMENTS. If he was cleared by the university, he was cleared by the university. You’re literally insane, and I cannot wait until you leave the womb of uni life and realise that your immature/borderline fascist behavior doesn’t fly in the real world.

  7. medeusa says:

    thanks for the feedback.

  8. hello says:

    Hi there,
    Firstly, I just wanted to point out that Tom Kerr going to a pro life event does not mean he supports it, it just means he is interested in hearing what they have to say, I think he should explain that because it quite a positive thing for a candidate.
    Secondly, I believe all candidates are entitled to their own personal opinion when it comes to these matters, but they should be able to not let them influence their public position. I cant believe that every candidate is agrees completly with the uni on every social and ethical topic, and thats fine, as long as it does not influence their decision making on behalf of the student body (which is itself a collection of many various ethical perspectives and opinions.
    Most importantly I don’t think you should let yourself be put off expressing yourself and your worries because of “poopy tweets” or some idiot shouting “shame”. There will always be stupid and rude people around but its important people rise above such petty comments and answers.They thrive of this kind of thing because it makes them feel important. You should instead take pride and maybe even crack a smile knowing that you have pissed them off.
    Best of luck.

  9. medeusa says:

    hey thanks i do agree with you on the most part. theres no way they can stop me saying how i feel. i just feel that a pro-life stance is not just a harmless opinion, and actually scares me as a woman. but whatever.

  10. ... says:

    How does Tom Kerr being pro-life affect his legitimacy for VPAA?

  11. medeusa says:

    he is meant to represent all students, so that includes all women students, and in there there’s me. and i for one would find it incredibly upsetting and unnerving if we elected a sabb who didn’t believe in my right to choose.

  12. ... says:

    If he becomes VPAA will that affect your right to choose? NO. I think that you are cruelly victimising Tom Kerr who is actually a very good candidate for the position. The only reason I can think of for this is that you enjoy whining.

  13. medeusa says:

    Ha ha ok, thanks for the feedback. Next time don’t ask me questions you already know the answer to.

  14. ... says:

    There won’t be a next time I’m afraid Ellie, I find your victimisation, generalisation and stigmatising errors extremely offensive and you just seem to blog here to poke holes in anything you can. I suggests you try to enjoy life rather than trying to nit pick about other people.

  15. medeusa says:

    I’d suggest people dont support people who made rape threats and hold views that are anti my freedom of choice and autonomy, maybe then i will enjoy my life a bit more. Talk about stigmatisation, that’s absolutely hilarious.

  16. ... says:

    I am absolutely not supporting people making rape threats Ellie, I am suggesting that you are unfairly tarring Tom Kerr with the same brush as people from the DKE who weren’t even there. PLEASE get you facts right Ellie as it is tacky to spread lies about people, and who wants to be tacky, right?

  17. medeusa says:

    Ha ha I really don’t mind about tacky. He has one of them on his campaign team. I don’t care.

  18. wfe says:

    There is a very very very big difference between rape jokes and rape threats that you don’t grasp, one is only potentially offensive, the other is a crime. There’s no need to twist people’s words.

  19. medeusa says:

    Come back to me after you’ve checked your facts. They threatened to rape FemSoc.

  20. wfe says:

    so you actually they would collective track down and collectively rape fem soc

  21. medeusa says:

    I’m sorry, what else is a threat? And even if they didn’t it is fucking disgusting to make those threats. Why are you making me describe to you how that is awful?

  22. wfe says:

    definition of threat: ‘a statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done.’ Therefore, if they don’t have the intention to actually rape then it’s not a threat.

  23. medeusa says:

    Leave me alone now. Youre not going to change my mind and you’re not going to make me feel that I’m wrong.

  24. natabbotts says:

    All rape threats are completely unacceptable and intent does not matter. It does not matter if a threat is deemed credible, it matters what the impact of the threat is on those who faced it. Consequences are the only important factor in evaluating if something was truly wrong and inexcusable and in this case (and all cases of rape threats towards survivors) the trauma faced by those threatened was unacceptable.

  25. wfe says:

    that doesn’t change the fact that it wasnt a threat, if you want to argue about words maybe you should write to the people who write dictionaries and get them to change the definition of threat

  26. KB says:

    Love how people who are effectively defending their “right” to say whatever offensive shit they like about minority groups and women are calling Ellie a facist. Oh the irony…

  27. H says:

    Nevertheless, you are happy to twist the story and victimise Tom Kerr when he has done little, if anything, to personally offend you. It is only when you have been questioned on such false accusations and bending of the truth about Tom Kerr that you reply with responses such as ‘but whatever’. You can’t go writings things which are clearly fabricated to suit your own purposes. There is no way I would ever condone threatening behaviour regarding rape and I am sorry that you and femsoc have been victimised by any threats that may have been made. But next time you feel like victimising someone like Tom Kerr with fabricated and twisted stories, maybe you should just think about how you felt when you believed you were unfairly targeted by members of the Frat and made a victim. If you find victimisation so awful, you are your own worst enemy.

  28. Nguyen says:

    EXCUSE ME, but if you’re going to use swear words in your blog then please PUT A TRIGGER WARNING UP, as swear words trigger me (a misogynistic co-worker used to swear under his breath when I pointed out his heteronormative worldview, and I found it EXTREMELY upsetting).

  29. medeusa says:

    Really sorry I will do that now

  30. medeusa says:

    How about use your real name and stop hiding behind an anonymous account? If you really believe what youre saying youd say it proudly. Also,it was a debate and this is an opinion blog, exactly the arena for questioning and criticising candidates. Also, what have i fabricated? He has a member of DKE on his campaign team: true. I questioned him on his pro-life stance, he answered me: true.What are my own purposes, I implore you? Because all I am doing is sticking up for myself and highlighting his fuck ups, something I think is necessary to do so student know who theyre voting for.

  31. H says:

    Fragmentation of the truth- ‘members of said frat at the back of the room, jeered me, shouting “shame, shame” at me.’

    We have since learnt through your own admission (‘there was also a member of the frat in the room’) that there was only one Frat member present. So it makes me question your sincerity when you continually speak of members in the plural when we know this is not the truth.

    Additionally, in response to being told it was Diags chanting ‘shame, shame’ at you, you reply ‘whatever, either way.’

    It is certainly not a case of ‘either way’. Your main argument is that a group of members from a frat party, with a history of threatening abuse to women, were chanting abuse at you. Instead, we hear that there was one member of said Frat was present and that those chanting, were Diags. You may not be fabricating an entire story, but a few twists of the truth can certainly help your case and they are becoming extremely evident.

  32. medeusa says:

    If thats all you’re going to pick up on, I don’t think it’s that important in the face of things. Ill add in that diags were also breaking safe space then. Thanks for the tip!

  33. H says:

    You may not, but i’m sure the candidate who you are making a victim of with your false accusations would.

  34. medeusa says:

    Not false accusations! Sarry! I’ve added in then info about Diagnostics and a link to their FB so people can make their own minds up now so I hope thats better. One more on the list of the people im callingout/defaming! 🙂

  35. H says:

    Wasn’t that hard was it. Now why couldn’t you do that from the beginning…?

    … I suppose it’s because you hope not to get called up on such things. I’d love to know how many other blogs you’ve written with similar fabrications.

  36. medeusa says:

    Thing is H, whoever you are. This was only confirmed to me today. And I’ve been studying all day and dealing with exhaustion and anxiety, so you can stop trying to make me feel bad now. So patronising.

  37. wow says:

    I’m not the previous commenter, but trust me, some of us are dealing with exhaustion and anxiety too. You’ve a) told a mistruth about what has happened to you b) targeted an EX frat member who had NO connection to the minutes and was completely exonerated by the university c) attempted a take-down on a good candidate on the basis of some sort of 6-degrees of kevin bacon connection (he’s friends with a guy who was friends with a guy who said awful things) d) put back the feminist movement (albeit in a small and insignificant way) with your continual commitment to lying and intimidation. I know this is your private hug box, and all of your friends will coo and tell you you’re right, but I promise you: you. are. not.

  38. TB says:

    Ellie, I find your comment regarding how you felt about asking the question rather interesting. You say that you were shaken and incredibly nervous about asking the question… I was sitting near you and that certainly did not appear to be the case. The way you addressed Tom Kerr and the way you asked your question left no doubt that you were getting personal. You seem to be tarring all Tom’s supporters with the same brush, being a woman, not connected with any society mentioned in this blog I do not think your generalisations are fair. I am supporting Tom because he is committed to helping provide support with their academic studies. After all isn’t that the point of the vice President for academic affairs ?

  39. medeusa says:

    Thank you for remaining anonymous while commenting on being near me and watching me, that’s a really nice thing to know. The thing is as well, you cannot see into someone’s mind and know what they’re thinking or feeling at that moment. Also, if you were looking closely or into my mind, you’d know that my hands were shaking, I felt faint and incredibly nervous, and was close to tears after leaving the room. I’m sorry your naivety and short-sightedness meant you couldn’t see that! The way I addressed Tom Kerr was asking him about physical realities of his campaign and beliefs. This is pure gaslighting, now please tell me who you are or grow up and stop accusing people of chronic depression and anxiety of making it up.

  40. TB says:

    At no point have I accused anyone with chronic depression and anxiety of making it up… From listening to the way you asked the question you used it as an opportunity to form a personal attack on Tom.

  41. medeusa says:

    I used it as a way to question him and he had a substandard answer. Youre upset because I pulled stuff up that might hurt his campaign. And it should.

  42. H says:

    I don’t know if it is but what if Tom Kerr’s stance on pro-life is a religious belief?

  43. H says:

    And how would this effect you?

  44. L says:

    H, the problem with being pro-life (even if for religious reasons) is that it’s not a personal stance, but that as soon as it is voiced as an opinion (in any interpersonal context) it infringes on the rights of women to have autonomy over their bodies.

    People believe weird shit, and I personally wouldn’t necessarily have a problem with being represented by someone who believes in the Flying Spaghetti Monster or really, really likes Greenday. The crucial difference here is: these are personal opinions. “Being pro-life” does not mean “I wouldn’t have an abortion.” It means: “Women shouldn’t have abortions.” It also means “Woman who have had an abortion are immoral” and “You are making immoral decisions if you choose to have an abortion in the future”. And this is why I feel it would affect *me* (not trying to speak for Ellie here) – I don’t feel like anyone who thinks its okay to dictate to me what I should do with my body can represent me adequately.

    Additionally, EUSA is a pro-choice organization and affiliated to Abortion Rights https://www.eusa.ed.ac.uk/eusapolicy/liberation/righttochoose/. So that alone points towards the fact that there’s definitely a conflict here – can a pro-lifer really adequately represent a pro-choice organization?

  45. medeusa says:

    Dunno if that makes a difference

  46. R says:

    I don’t know why his stance on abortion was even slightly relevant to his running for VPAA, he was totally within his rights to say that he didn’t have an opinion. Also, how exactly would his being pro-life (we also cannot confirm if he is or not) affect his ability to represent women, especially considering the post is for academic affairs? What about women who are pro-life/have strong religious beliefs? If he was pro-choice would you be calling his ability to represent these women into question? Probably not. It seems as though you have launched a personal attack on a man who’s been exonerated by the university for the frat’s behaviour (sick behaviour, I must add).

    What is your opinion on Faatima’s comments? Will you call her ability to represent white students into question? Since she has not apologised, stating that it is “impossible” for white people to be victims of racism.

  47. medeusa says:

    I disagree with all of that! I think faatima is great and not racist. White people aren’t oppressed. Good bye and get a life. Get out of my butthole

  48. poopy poiuo says:

    You say that women should get sorority safe spaces where they can make tasteless jokes about killing men, whereas guys shouldnt have fraternities where they make tasteless jokes about raping women. You say bme women can make rude comments about white guys whereas white guys cant make rude comments about bme people. Where is the consistency? Where is the morality? Where is anything decent or intelligent behind your opinions except for affirmative action and self-entitled rebellious hypocrisy? Giving to one group of people doesn’t mean you have to take from another, rise above what you hate so much in others and dont just do the same as they do.

  49. medeusa says:

    Do your research and good bye. Saying fuck you white person is not the same as using racist offensive dangerous language against a black person. Get a grip. You’re so fucking entitled jesus Christ. If you want a debate show me your face and talk to me instead of being a fucking coward. A safe space is not a fucking sorority jesus fucking Christ. Quit telling me that asking for survivor only spaces and bme only spaces is oppressive. Please just let me fucking deal with my trauma and healing in the way i want you sadistic asshole.

  50. Jamie piper says:

    ‘…me and other women on the same committee as I.’ You need some English lessons. The correct word for the end of that sentence is ‘me’. Look it up and check your grammar in future.

  51. medeusa says:

    Thanks for the feedback

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