Top kek, me.
Finally, the day is upon us. That fateful night, when we find out who won and who lost and tantrums will be thrown and glares cast (expect many from me). We will see the room split into groups of supporters and campaign teams, all looking gaunt and pale and jittery from nerves and the last week’s absolute hell. I will be there live tweeting and cackling, shouting “I’m not even going to be here next year!” at the top of my lungs. Manic laughter and too many pints.
I feel I can only really call one of the vice-president races, and that’s the VPS race. Urte has a lot of support and has definitely been the most visible. Also her policies are p good so yah I’m going to go with saying she will win.
The rest are really a toss up for me, and I can’t really tell, even though I have my hunches. With all the drama surrounding Faatima, it might turn out badly for her, but also her policies and nice face might draw people in, or a backlash to the backlash where people turn out to support her and say F U to the haters! That might be a bit optimistic, but good luck Faatima from your fan blog. Theo and Jonny seem kind of neck and neck to me, but Jonny’s vague campaign might let him down, as Theo’s policies actually have some substance. Also, sorry Michael…
VPAA will either be Imo or Calum, who have both been nice and visible. I just saw Tom Kerr in the Teviot corridor and he gave me the raging death stare, so tonight I may day or be made to “disappear”, who knows. I’m going to request a human shield at all times, the balcony in the Debating Hall would be a good spot for snipers. RIP me, and Tom Kerr’s campaign prospects.
VPSA is a close call too. I’d say there’s three in the running: Hannah, Iqbal and Andy. Because I’m a reverse sexist and also because her policies are ace I want Hannah to win, but Iqbal was a strong second preference. I have a feeling Iqbal will pull through, though Andy the new face on the EUSA scene (EUScene) could be a dark horse. He has a lot of likes and a lot of views so hmmMmMmmmmm… It’s all a mystery. Shuwanna didn’t do great in the debates and I haven’t seen her around very much so it’s sad but I don’t really know what her chances are like. Also Kashish wasn’t at the debate but she’s been more visible on Facebook in the last few days. I thought her policies were spot on.
All in all I don’t know but I am excited. My mum and dad are in town so they’re going to pop in and see what it’s all like. I really don’t know why they would want to do that but hey… All I know is I might be killed tonight, so start a Change.org petition to stop Tom Kerr’s campaign team murdering me, thanks.
Lastly, WELL DONE EVERYBODY WE GOT THROUGH IT. Sorry to those who received abusive behaviour or ridiculous, obsessed smear campaigns. This is notoriously a trying time of year, what with essays and the elections, so take a few days (or weeks) to rest and watch Netflix and drink hot chocolate and self-care. You deserve it! And if you don’t win, know that you fought well (except you, you know who you are) and you got people talking and thinking about issues you raised!
See you later, friends.